Kirk Voelker's Guest Alarm Clock (Patent Pending)

Meet Vito -- The "Kirk and Chris Voelker guest alarm clock".

Highly effective but doesn't include a 9-minute snooze function, sat-nav or bluetooth connectivity.

After a quick bedside wrestle we quickly esablished who had snoozing rights on the right of the bed. 

Great picture!

Here's another way to make sure you're fully awake:

http://bobandsylvia.com/WINGSUIT.htm

Here's the "snooze" button:

 

You zonk him with it over the head, knocking him out for a minute or 2. Then when he wakes up the leather makes for a perfect chew toy for another 5 minutes...