The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the
official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
the other
possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had
some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
that would become known
as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will
make the sivil
servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'.
This should klear
up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publikenthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome 'ph' will
be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage
where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent
to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag
is disgrasful and
it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th'
with 'z' and 'w'
with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
kontaining 'ou' and after ziz
fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
http://ec.europa.eu/translation/writing/style_guides/english/style_guide_en.pdf